TOMMY STEELE LYRICS

 

It would be an impossible task to print the lyrics to every song written or recorded by the legendary songmeister, so we will attempt to list a few of his earliest songs.

 


FROM The Tommy Steele Story:

 

A HANDFUL OF SONGS

 

I’ve got a handful of songs to sing you

Can’t stop my voice when it longs to sing you

  New songs and blue songs and songs that bring you

  Happiness, no more, no less

 

Moreover, wherever we may roam to

Or any shore where we may be blown to

We’ll know that we’re gonna feel at home to

  La Bella Musica

 

Jazz and Cha-Cha-Cha,

Calypso and street vendor cries.

Strains of old refrains,

Sleepy time baby lullabies

 

I’ve of a handful of songs to sing you

I’ve got a heart full of love to bring you

True love for you love

And love’s a thing you keep.

So here’s a handful of songs

  Going cheap

Just a handful of songs

Just a handful of songs

Only a handful of songs

 

WILL IT BE YOU?

 

Will it be you?

Who I’ll be giving my love to?

You who make me say I’ll always be true

  To one love, Will it be you?

 

I don’t know why,

Why I wonder if you’re willing to try,

Why I know that I’d be willing to die

  For one love.  Will it be you?

 

I know your smile is the smile

  That’s my ideal.

Your eyes are the only eyes I see.

They seem to tell me why I feel

  That you might be the only girl for me.

 

I wonder…Will it be you?

You, who’s wearing something old,

  Something new?

You, in something borrowed or blue?

My true love, Will it be you?

I wonder who…Will it be you?

 

 

 

TAKE ME BACK BABY

 

What have I done to make you blue?

I’ll be a good boy if only you

Take me back, Baby

Take me back, Baby

Take me back, Baby

I won’t be bad no more.

 

Won’t stay out, I won’t tell lies,

Give us a smile and wipe your eyes.

Take me back, Baby

Take me back, Baby

Take me back, Baby

I won’t be bad no more

 

When I’m back, I’m back to stay

Nevermore to run away,

Take me back, Baby

Take me back, Baby

Take me back, Baby

I won’t be bad no more

 

I’ll bring you flow’rs and other things

I’ll bring you what a lover brings

Finest jewels, the finest rings,

I’ll be an angel minus wings.

Take me back, Baby

Take me back, Baby

Take me back, Baby

 I won’t be bad no more.

 

TIME TO KILL

 

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock Tick, Tock

Time to kill, round about a million hours to fill.

Got a certain date at eight. That’s half a day to wait.

Time to kill.

What to do? Till the moment I look forward to.

Walk the pavements all alone,

Miss the cracks in every stone.

Time to kill.

 

Everywhere I see the time staring down at me.

Will it never be the time that I long to see?

Fast clocks, Slow clocks, Go clocks, Go clocks

Time to kill.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, time, time,

Endless time to kill.

 

I’m on the move and time is standing still.

Can’t think of one more thing to do.

What did Rip Van Winkle do with

Time to kill?

Soon comes a time I won’t care what you say,

Hurry, hurry, I can’t wait

Till I make that date at eight.

Time to kill. Time to kill.  Time to kill.

 

WATER, WATER

 

Water, water, ev’rywhere and not a drop to drink

So tell me now

What else can a poor fellow do

But sit right down and think?

 

Think about his girl, think about the times we had

  Together, boy

On Friday we’d paint the town

But now she ain’t around.  There’s only….

 

Think about some tea, even if I wanted to be

A tee-totaller

It’s only salty sea between a drink and me

It’s drives you mad…..

 

Think about roast beef, think about some fish and chips

In newspapers

These galley meals are OK, but sausage ev’ry day.

Is as bad as….

 

Think about those girls, in the pinup photographs

Around the bunk.

They’re standing within arm’s reach,

And ev’ry one a peach.

It’s just like…..

 

TWO EYES

 

Two eyes in the corner.  Two eyes, looking at me.

Don’t hide in the corner.

Bring those two eyes closer, closer.

 

Two arms want to hold you.  Two lips want to kiss kiss

Quick, before the moment dies,

Say, “yes”. Please.  Two eyes.

 

Tantalizing. Hypnotizing, looking through me,

Speaking to me.

Fascinating. Captivating peepers keeping me waiting.

 

Dig those blinkers, dig those winkers

Such expression, this impression

That you’re making, got me shaking.

I’m yours for the taking. 

“Yes”, please.  Two eyes!

 

BUILD UP

 

Great! Real great! Fabulous! More than most.

I want you to know that I really go for you.

 

Cool! Real cool!  You send me.  Out of this world.

I want you to know that I really go for you.

 

Knock!  Knock, knock!

Who’s that there?  Open the door!

 I want you to know that I really go for you.

 

This is no build up.  This is no build up.

My book is filled up, and every word is true, true, true

This is no build up.  This is no build up.

I get so grilled up over you, you, you.

 

 

 

I LIKE

 

I like!  Do you like?  I like!  Do you like?

Piano roll those iv’ry slats, Feed that music to the cats

Man, to hear that upright speak,

You’d never know his mother was a real antique. Well!

 

Bass and drum go rum-ti-tum, Blow those old cobwebs away.

Don’t stay home all on your own.

Give me a call on the saxophone. Well!

 

Hear that drum go rum-ti-tum, tho it don’t appeal to some.

Hear that bass go plink-a-plunk,

You never would have guessed it was a pile of junk . Well!

 

I like! Do you like?  I like! Do you like?

I like! Do you like?  I like! Do you like?

 

YOU GOTTA GO

 

Some folks get kicks cutting a rug. Some folks like to spit in a jug.

Some folks stay home in snug, but not me.

I’ve got the traveling bug, and….

 

This guy takes chick to a dance.  This might start a future romance.

But this romance ain’t getting a chance,

‘cos suddenly he gets ants in his pants, and….

 

Been to Spain and Timbuctoo.  Been to Maine and Kalamazoo

Going again, and when I’m through,

There’ll be some cute baby traveling, too. ‘cos…

 

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Something down below comes right up and tells you so.

One thing that I know,

When you gotta go, you gotta go, go, go!

 

CANNIBAL POT

 

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.  Who’s cooking?

 

It’s gonna be hot in the Cannibal pot tonight.

We’ve not got a lot, so be on the spot tonight.

Din-Din!  Tum-Tum!  Chin-Chin!  Yum-Yum!

It’s gonna be hot in the cannibal pot tonight.

 

The guy who worked the mincer, you remember Chinese Louie?

One day he went to pieces.  Poor Louie!  Chop Suey!

 

The Turk who used to work here; used to work behind the slab.

He ain’t behind the slab no more. So grab some shish-ke-bab.

 

Remember MacNamara?  Used to make a hulabalou?

It’s quiet around the place these days.  Do you like Irish Stew?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FROM:  THE DUKE WORE JEANS

 

IT’S ALL HAPPENING

 

Oh, look!  It’s all happening!  It’s all happening!

I heard them say they’re giving it away for free.

Oh, look! It’s all happening!  It’s all happening!

And if you don’t believe me, take a look and see.

 

There’s loving in the air, like the whole wide world don’t care.

You can feel it stealing in upon the summer breeze.

And if you climb up any tree, then it’s a sure thing to see

That well-known mystery the birds and bees.

 

Mama’s busy in the nest, Papa’s puffing out his chest.

‘Cause she’s hatched brood that’s put him in a mood to sing.

And there’s  worm down here who wishes

  Good appetite to the fishes

‘Cause she knows she looks delicious in the spring.

 

I’m in love ev’rything.  So excuse me if I sing.

It’s the kind of day when nothing’s in the way of joy.

‘Cause there’s a million couples mating,

And papa soon will be waiting

So’s to hear somebody stating “It’s  boy!”

 

WHAT DO YOU DO?

 

What do you do when you’re invited

  Out to the joint where guys get knighted?

Raise your hat and say that you’re delighted.

Yes, but, tell me…

What do you do when noses stick up,

‘Cos you don’t know which knife to pick up? 

Look around you and politely hic-cough.

Yes, but….I know

Champaign, tea and caviar need to be approached with etiquette.

Very well then, Campaign for a samovar

 Get the better of the better set!  Cor Blimey!

What do you do when debutanties

Take you to tea to meet their aunties?

You’re as wise as I am.  Fine advisor I am.

What do you do?

 

What do you do with no school tie on?

No oxford accent to rely on?

Sing a verse or two of “Any Old Iron”!

Yes, but, tell me…

What do you do when you go places?

What you wear when at the races?

S’pose I’ll have to use me father’s braces?

 Yes, but, I know…

Fish and chips and jellied eels is a diet I don’t understand.

Oh, how I wish you knew just how it feels,

Eating a banana down the Strand!  Oh, matey!

What do you do when clubs refuse you?

Can’t even get your name in Who’s Who?

You’re as wise as I am.  Fine advisor I am.

What do you do?  What do you do?  What do you do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HAPPY GUITAR

 

You take a pick, find a string, take it quick, make it swing,

Play a run, Strike a chord.  Having fun?  Having fun?

 

Happy guitar, play it for me.

Happy guitar, play that melody.

I wanna hear that chun-ka-chun-ka whom, ching.

Chun-ka-chun-ka whom ching chah!

From my happy guitar!

 

When I’m blue she makes me grin,

Stays by me through thick and thin,

Yes, where I go she strings along,

That’s why I sing this song….Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

 

Lazy feet can’t stay that way, not when this tune begins to play

So clap your hands and feel the beat.

That’s coming from that “geet”. Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

 

PHOTOGRAPH

 

Photograph my baby, Will she laugh? She’s smiling now.

Photographing her is quite a task.

Photograph my baby, try to capture what she’s got.

Just a shot, that’s not a lot to ask.

Here comes the bride, bring your cameras.

I want her picture close to me when I’m feeling amorous

Photograph my baby, comes the day when maybe I’ll be with her

  On that photograph!

Photograph my baby, comes a day when I’ll be with her

  On that extra special photograph!

 

HAIR DOWN, HOE-DOWN

 

You’ve gotta let your hair down everybody,

if you wanna have a time.

You gotta let your hair down everybody ‘cos I’m warning you

 that I’m gonna let my hair down.

Everybody’s gotta let it down.

 

Hair down everybody, hair down everybody,

Hair down everybody, hair down everybody,

Hair down everybody, hair down.

Everybody come to the hair down hoe-down.

 

Who’s that in the corner? What’s it all about?

Never been known to pick a little wallflower

  ‘fore it’s blossomed out, you’ve gotta let your…

 

Man, this ain’t no Foxtrot!  Nor a Minuet!

Babe in the middle knows what she’s got

   And you cannot go get, till you let your…

 

Party’s really swinging.  I can see it move.

We’re all moving out-a that rut,

   And into that well-known groove, you’ve gotta…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PRINCESS

 

Princess, if you love me I’m your Prince.

Saw you, and I’ve loved you ever since.

Found you, with crowd around you.

Broke the ties that bound you.

Stood my ground, and now I’ve crowned you

Princess, tho’ there’s nothing in a name.

Others would have sounded pretty tame.

If you were poorer, I could be no more surer.

That you’re a Princess,

May I call you “Princess”?

If you say you love me. I’m your Prince.

 

THANKS A LOT

 

Thanks a lot I’ve had a ball!

And I love you one and all.

You’ve been great and I’ll be proud to say

Whatever may befall,

 

Each of you have left a part

  Of yourselves inside my heart.

And I know somehow if it all ended now,

I’d say, “Thanks a lot, I’ve had a ball!”

 

FAMILY TREE

 

My great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great

  Grandfather came over with a conqueror name of Bill.

He pinched bow and arrow from an arrow seller’s barrow.

Shot Harold in the eye on Hastings Hill,

In the eye on Hastings Hill.

What a guy!  If looks could kill!

 

My great, great, great, great, great. great, great,

  Grandfather enlisted with a fellow named Robin Hood.

The knights were off crusading,

 while for maidens he went raiding

  all the castles in the Sherwood neighborhood.

On a raid, he snatched a maid,

And I’m afraid the maiden stayed! O-O-O-

 

Our Family Tree is a bit of a mystery.

The roots are pretty shaky, and the leaves are turning brown

But nobody had the nerve to cut it down!

 

My great, great, great, great, great, great,

  Grandfather was bowling with his mate Sir Frances Drake.

They shouted “Armada” so he started bowling harder.

He was in the middle of a winning break.

Couldn’t spoil his winning break.

Tho’ the country was at stake!

 

My great, great, great, great, great,

  Grandfather took Nell Gwynn on the bounce

  From Charles the First.

And to this day, they tell us,

There’s a pile down in the cellars

Of oranges to quench the family thirst.

What a vice!  The family thirst!

Wait for it, you ain’t heard the worst! O-O-O

 

 

 

 

 

 

My great, great, great, great,

  Grandfather, the less we say about him, the better!

My great, great Grandfather  ran off with the Duchess’ maid

  The day he met her.

They had a son. The only one, although they wanted three

As nutty as the fruitcake they had for Sunday tea

And he turned out to be my great Grandfather

Whose picture hangs on the fam’ly wall

Keeps looking down, a shocking frown,

As if to say nothing out of the way ever happened at all.

 

 

FROM TOMMY THE TOREADOR

 

LITTLE WHITE BULL

 

Once upon a time there was a little white bull

Very sad because he was a little white bull

All the black bulls called him a coward just ‘cos he was white

Only black bulls go to the bullring, only black bulls fight

When he asked his mama if a little white bull

Ever had a chance of turning black,

His mama said, “You silly little bull, you’re a pretty little bull,

You’re my little bull.  So please don’t ask me why little bull

You just ain’t black.”

 

But this did not satisfy the little white bull.

He was an exception to the little white rule.

Everyday, alone in the meadow, he’d find things to charge,

‘Til one day he really imagined that his horns were large.

Bold as brass right there and then the little white bull

Quickly found the nearest road to town,

And the people said, “What a funny little bull

What a fluffy little bull!  He’s our little bull”

He marched along like a proud little bull and hit the town.

 

It was the day of the bullfight.

All the town was there.

Waiting to see the famous Matador.

Trumpets sounded a fanfare, Tan-ta-ta-ran-tan-ta!

Out from the throats of the crowd came a mighty roar!

Into the ring to the shout of a great “Ole!”

Came the parade all prepared for a mighty fray!

Matadors, and picadors, and toreadors…..

And who do you think as well…

 

Trotting right behind them came the little white bull.

How they laughed out loud to see the little white bull

Trotting ‘round the giant arena with his head up high,

‘Til the Matador in the centre caught his tiny eye.

Charging right up to him went the little white bull,

Charging twice, and charging once again.

The Matador cried, “To-ro! Little bull.

You’re not a little bull.  You’re a brave little bull!

The best in Spain”

 

Then the crowd all shouted, “To-ro! Little bull! 

You’re not a little bull.  You’re a brave little bull.

You’re going to be a great little bull.  The best in Spain!”

 

So if you’ve got a little bull that’s a white little bull,

It’s quite possible that it might be the bull

That’s the best in Spain!

 

 

 

 

 

 

AMANDA

 

Amanda, beneath your window I’m going to sing to you

  A serenade

Amanda, don’t leave your window until you’ve listened to

  My serenade.

My darling, oh how I love you

And how I hope you understand

I’ll always be thinking of you.

Just say you’ll love me!

And Amanda, You won’t be sorry

You heard my serenade, Amanda mine.

Amanda mine, Amanda mine, Amanda mine.

 

SINGING TIME

 

Found the baby to spark a little fire.

Soon the temperature will be getting higher.

Form an orchestra, hire a little choir.

It’s singing time.

 

When you build a choir, let me put you wise,

Get eleven girls, and eleven guys.

Make it easy for them to harmonize.

It’s singing time!

 

Get your baby’s hands clapping to the beat.

Smiling at you and tapping with her feet.

Both of you will find happiness complete.

At singing time.

 

Singing time!  Found your lover?

Happy brother? Bubbling over!

Singing time,  Crazy news.

Lose the blues that you were troubling over.

 

Any moment now you’ll be singing, too.

Teach your baby to sing along with you.

If she loves you she’ll come in on cue.

It’s singing time, singing time, singing time.

 

TOMMY THE TOREADOR

 

Took a freighter to Spain.  Met up with a bull fighter.

He soon taught me the score.

Now my claim to fame is the crazy name Tommy, the Toreador!

No bullfighter in Spain sees a bull and turns whiter.

Please don’t leave me ashore!

Kids that follow me keep on calling me Tommy. The Toreador

 

I’ve got a sword, I’ve got a cloak,

But when the bull is coming at you, it’s no joke!

 

I would notify Spain, Find another bullfighter.

But the ladies adore throwing roses to, growing closer to

Tommy. The Toreador.

I’m not scooting while Cupid’s rooting for

Tommy, the Toreador.

 

WHERE’S THE BIRDIE?

 

Where’s the birdie? We’re looking for the birdie.

But the birdie ain’t nowhere to be found.

We’re looking for it here, we’re looking for it there

We’re looking for that birdie everywhere.  So tell us,

Where’s the birdie?  We’re looking for the birdie.

But the birdie ain’t around.

 

In those fancy ballet tights, I’d look quite a sight.

I imagine me with combinations on.

But when it’s for art’s sake and when you’re in Swan Lake

You must lose your inhibitions, take positions,

You’re a swan!  “Watch the birdie.”

 

In the third round I did well, then ding! went the bell.

Then someone shouted “Seconds out the ring”

I’m up upon my toes. Then down upon me nose,

Then I heard  cuckoo “cuckoo” and it wasn’t even spring.

 

For “To be or not to be”, for publicity,

I’d even play in Shakespeare at the “Vic”

Oh. Fate, where is thy spur?  You might be made a “Sir”

And be photoed in your garter double quick!

 

TAKE A RIDE

 

Say won’t you take a ride? There’s lots of room inside.

Come on and take a ride with me.

We’re off I don’t know where.  Keep going, I don’t care.

‘Cos when we get there, then we’ll see.

 

We may arrive to find a great paradise,

Or will it be a carousel?

Some gay fiesta, or a grand masquerade.

Well, crack the whip and ring the bell!

 

Come on, and join the fun, shake hands with everyone.

The highway isn’t even wide.

Around the corner there’ll be new things to view.

So take a ride with me, I’ll take a ride with you.

 

Dancing in the streets, children singing sweet.

Lots of things to eat.  That’s Fiesta!

People stop and stare, No one seems to care.

Laughter in the air, That’s Fiesta!

 

We know we’re gong where vino is flowing

Amigo is throwing a ball!

Senorita, hi!  Senorita, hey!

Now I’ve caught your eye, don’t you go away.

 

There’s a party here, only once a year.

I may be here today, I go away manyana.

Dancing in the streets, children singing sweet.

Lots of things to eat.  That’s Fiesta!

People stop and stare, no one seems to care.

Laughter in the air.  That’s Fiesta!

 

 

OLDIES

 

DOOMSDAY ROCK

 

The first day there’ll be lightning.  The second there’ll be hail.

The third daybreak there’ll be a big earthquake.

So brother, forward your mail.

The fourth day there’ll be darkness.  The last time the sun has shone

The fifth day you’ll wake up and say, “The world’s real gone!”

 

Rock n’ roll you sinners.  Sing to save your soul.

There ain’t no room for beginners when the world is rock n’ roll

Rock n’ roll, you sinners, sing to be alive.

There ain’t no room for beginners when the world starts to jive.

 

 

If you’re an angel, you’d better lay low.

You’ll end up in a square halo.

If you’re a singer and you gotta string along,

Hit me, Daddy, with a three point prong.

 

Rock, sinners, rock.  Roll, sinners, roll.

Rock-a-hoo-la-roll-a-hoo-la-roll-a hoo-la-rock

 

ROCK AROUND TOWN

 

I was in London just a short time ago,

I said to my friend, “Your car’s too slow”

He turned ‘round to me and said,

“If you want a fuss, go take a ride on a downtown bus.”

 

And, Rock, rock, rock around the town.

Rock, rock, rock around the town.

Roll, roll, roll around the town

Rock, rock, rock around the town

Ev’rybody’s doing it!  London Bridge is falling down.

 

Got in a monster, it was painted red.

A guy in blue turned to me and said,

His words were followed by quite a stare

I said, “What d’you want?”

He said, “I want your fare.”

 

We went around through half the night,

And I say we saw every sight.

When we came back and walked around,

Well, what’you know, we’re back in London Town.

 

REBEL ROCK

 

You gotta rebel rock, yes, you gotta rebel rock,

Yes, you gotta rebel rock. Well, you gotta rebel rock.

Let your feelings show.  Go, cat, go!

 

If they say you gotta do it, don’t.

Say you gotta do it, don’t

If you don’t wanna do it, don’t.

Say your gonna do it, don’t.

When you’re at home, and your life’s your own

 

If they’re gonna ask you nice,

If they’re gonna ask you nice,

Make them have to ask you twice.

Make the have to ask you twice.

Have a heart of ice, when you’re at home.

 

If they gotta ask you twice,

If they gotta ask you twice,

Well, they’re not gonna ask you nice.

They’re not gonna ask you nice.

When you’re at home, your life’s your own.

Well are you ready rebel, Oh,ho,ho

Are you ready rebel, Oh,ho,ho

Are you ready rebel, Oh,ho,ho

Are you ready rebel Oh,ho

When you’re at home, your life’s your own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUTTERFINGERS

 

Butterfingers, I let you go.

But love still lingers, why I don’t know.

For that short moment you were with me

I never knew your worth.

Tho’ I lost you, please forgive me,

Now I’ve come down to earth.

 

Butterfingers is waiting for

Something to bring us together once more.

And when that happens, I’m gonna hold you in my loving arms and then

I won’t be butterfingers again.

 

TEENAGE PARTY

 

Gonna have a teenage party, we’re gonna have a teenage time

We’re gonna make it high and hearty.  If you’re ready, that’s fine

 

Really rock and jump together.

Really take the floor together.

Really have a time together.

Whether you’re ready or not!

 

Walk down a teenage passage, open up a teenage door.

Soon you’ll get the teenage message, Rockin’ thru the floor.

Take a note, unquote, take a line, that’s fine.

From the top, full stop.

 

Gonna have a teenage party.  Gonna have a teenage raid.

We’re gonna make it high and hearty.

Just think of the sleep you’ll save.

 

From HALF A SIXPENCE

 

HALF A SIXPENCE

 

Half a sixpence is better than half a penny,

Is better than half a farthing, is better than none.

It’s a token of our eternal love.

When you’re far away, touch it everyday.

And though that half a sixpence can only mean half a romance

Remember that half a romance is better than none.

But when I’m with you, One and one make two,

And likewise two half sixpence joined together make one.

 

THIS IS MY WORLD

 

This is my world, a world of splendor,

Swanky and rich and fine.

This is my world, I won’t surrender

Now that I’ve made it mine.

A world that is full of wonderful things

Dukes and their Duchesses, nobles and kings.

I’ll be a king for more than one day

Whatever they say, I’ll keep it that way.

This is the world that I was meant for,

This is the world for me.

I wouldn’t give a blooming cent for

Life as it used to be.

For now that I’m tasting the pleasures of life,

Even a fool can see

That this is my world, this is my world.

This is my world and this is the life for me.

 

 

 

MONEY TO BURN

 

If I had money to burn – a hole in my pocket

If I had money to burn – I’d go like a rocket

Down to the town without a stop, blow right into the music shop

And buy me a banjo, clatter, janga, ringa, danga

Buy me a banjo, clatter, janga, ringa, danga

Buy me a banjo, clatter, janga, ringa, danga,

That’s what I would do!

 

If I had all that money could buy

If I had all that money could buy

If I had all that money could buy

I’d buy me a banjo, ring dong, clatter, janga, ringa, danga

Play on the banjo, clatter, janga, ringa, danga

Night and day on the banjo, clatter, janga..ringa. janga

That’s what I would do!

 

FLASH, BANG, WALLOP

 

All lined up in a wedding group, here we are for a photograph

All dressed up in a morning suit, we’re all trying not to laugh

Since the early caveman in his fur took a trip to Gretna Green,

There’s always been a photographer to record the happy scene.

 

Hold it! Flash, bang, wallop, what a picture

Click, what a picture, what a photograph.

Poor old soul, Blimey, what a joke,

Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke.

Clap hands, stamp your feet, bang it on the big bass drum.

What a picture, what a picture, rum-tiddy-um-pum-pum-pum-pum

Stick it in the family album!

 

The same thing happened long ago when man was in his prime

And what went on we only know from the snaps he took at the time

When Adam and Eve in a birthday suit decided to get wed,

As Adam was about to taste the fruit, the man with the camera said

Hold it! Flash, bang, wallop, what a picture,

Click, what a picture, what a photograph.

Poor old Eve, there with nothing on.

Face all red and her fig leaf gone.

Clap your hands…..

 

King Henry the Eighth had several wives, including Anne Bolyn.

He kept an album of their lives to keep their photos in.

As Anne Bolyn knelt on her knees, dressed in her very best frock,

King Henry said, “Smile, dear, please.” As her head rolled off the block.

Hold it! Flash, bang, wallop, what a picture.

Click what a picture, what a photograph.

Prints came back in a little while. 

She lost her head, but she kept her smile.

Clap….

 

You’ve read it in a folio, or seen it in a Shakespeare play,

How Juliet fell for Romeo in the merry, merry month of May.

As Romeo climbed the orchard wall to seek his lady fair,

And as he tumbled, Juliet bawled, as he floated through the air,

Hold it! Flash, bang, wallop, what a picture,

Click, what a picture, what a photograph.

Poor old chap, what a night he spent,

Tights all torn and his rapier bent.

Clap….

 

 

 

 

 

When Napoleon married Josephine it was just the same to do.

He galloped home from the battle scene all the way from Waterloo

As he came in off his horse, to the boudoir where she sat

She said to him, in French of course,

As he took off his big cocked hat,

Hold it! Flash, bang, wallop, what a picture.

Click, what a picture, what a photograph.

There she was with her Hussair…….

All caught up in her Ooh-la-la!.

Clap…